Emotional wellbeing
We know that cancer isn’t just a physical health condition. It can affect people emotionally, psychologically, and spiritually.
Whereas some patients prefer to manage their conditions by getting on with their treatment plans, others take opportunities to talk about what their cancer diagnosis and treatment means to them.
We know that not everybody knows what to say to someone who is living with cancer, but there are a number of local organisations that do. Your Cancer Support Worker team at the hospital are listening ears and helping hands who can arrange time to actively take in how you are feeling and refer or signpost to local organisations that we think may be of benefit to you.
Role of the support worker
- often first point of contact
- non-medical advice and support
- liaise with other health and social care professionals
- dates, times of appointments and investigations
- financial, transport, equipment, psychological and emotional support
- holistic needs assessments
Understanding your emotions
It is common to have many different emotions when you are told you have cancer. These can be difficult to cope with. Partners, family and friends may also have some of the same feelings.
Common thoughts and feelings
Anger
You may feel angry about your diagnosis. You may also resent other people for being well. These are normal reactions. They are more likely when you feel frightened, stressed or unwell.
Shock and denial
You may find it hard to believe that you have cancer when you are first diagnosed. It is common to feel shocked and numb. You may not be able to understand all the information you are given and keep asking the same questions. At first, it can be hard to talk about the cancer, or you might find it hard to think or talk about anything else. Both reactions are normal. These feelings usually get easier over time.
Avoidance
You may cope by trying not to find out much about the cancer, or by not talking about it. If you feel like this, tell people that you do not want to talk about it right now. You can also tell your cancer doctor if there are things you do not want to talk about yet. Sometimes, it may be hard to accept that you have cancer. This can stop you making decisions about treatment. If this happens, it is very important to get help from your healthcare team.
Fear
You may be anxious or frightened about whether treatments will work and what will happen in the future. This can be one of the hardest things to cope with. It can help to try and focus on things you can control. You may want to find out more about the cancer, your treatment options and how to manage any side effects. It can also help to talk about your feelings. Try to keep doing the things that are important to you and that you enjoy.
Sadness
You may feel sad if you have to change your plans because of the cancer, or if your future feels uncertain. Feeling sad is a natural reaction to changes or loss. This feeling may come and go during and after your treatment. For most people, these periods of sadness get better, but for some people, the sadness may continue or get worse. If you think the sadness may be turning into depression, there are things you can do to help.
Feeling alone
You may feel alone or isolated. This could be because you do not think you have support. Family and friends may live far away, be busy or feel uncomfortable talking about the cancer.
Guilt and blame
You may feel guilty or blame yourself for the cancer. You may want to find reasons for why this has happened to you. Most of the time it is important to know exactly what causes cancer. Overtime, a combination of different risk factors may cause a cancer. Doctors do not fully understand all these factors yet.
Common fears
- relationships, sex and intimacy
- fears for the future
- disruption to life, and plans
- worries about side effects
- the financial costs
- body changes
Ideas to help you cope
- expressing emotion – cry, angry walks.
- ‘downloading’ thoughts: write it / tell it.
- well balanced diet
- self kindness (not oughts and shoulds) – do things that fulfil you
- distraction / mindfulness
- problems solve: what can I do now? Who can I ask? What would I tell a friend? Breaking down big worries into small chunks.
- keep socialising
- practice ways of relaxing
- take regular physical activity you enjoy
Poor sleep
Poor sleep will reduce energy during the daytime. Improve sleep:
- try to sleep in a quiet, calm room
- go to bed and get up at the same time each day
- make sure the room that you sleep in is a comfortable and soothing place – an untidy room may be distracting and make you feel anxious
- make sure the temperature is right
- sleep with the window open if there isn’t too much noise outside
- relaxing before you go to bed – have a bath, read or listen to music
- do some physical activities each day to help tire yourself out
- don’t drink too much alcohol before bed – you may fall asleep to start with but you’ll have a disturbed night
- avoid caffeine after early afternoon
- limit daytime naps to 45 minutes
- have a light snack before you go to bed to stop hunger waking you up
- listen to a relaxation tape
Where to seek help
- your GP
- Clinical Nurse Specialist
- Macmillan support worker
- Time to Talk
- Counselling NHS or private
- PCaSO support group and helpline
- Prostate Cancer UK Helpline
- Macmillan Cancer Support Helpline
Online resources
These online resources relating to the emotional effects of cancer from Macmillan and our partners, may help you manage your emotions.