Emotional wellbeing

We know that cancer isn’t just a physical health condition. It can affect people emotionally, psychologically, and spiritually.

Whereas some patients prefer to manage their conditions by getting on with their treatment plans, others take opportunities to talk about what their cancer diagnosis and treatment means to them.

We know that not everybody knows what to say to someone who is living with cancer, but there are a number of local organisations that do. Your Cancer Support Worker team at the hospital are listening ears and helping hands who can arrange time to actively take in how you are feeling and refer or signpost to local organisations that we think may be of benefit to you. 

Understanding your emotions

It is common to have many different emotions when you are told you have cancer. These can be difficult to cope with. Partners, family and friends may also have some of the same feelings.

Common thoughts and feelings

• Anger – Managing cancer and anger | Macmillan Cancer Support. It is natural to feel angry when you have had a cancer diagnosis. Finding ways to help you relax and reduce stress can help.
• Shock and denial – You may find it hard to believe that you have cancer when you are first diagnosed. It is common to feel shocked and numb. You may not be able to understand all the information you are given and keep asking the same questions. At first, it can be hard to talk about the cancer, or you might find it hard to think or talk about anything else. Both reactions are normal. These feelings usually get easier over time.
• Avoidance – You may cope by trying not to find out much about the cancer, or by not talking about it. If you feel like this, tell people that you do not want to talk about it right now. You can also tell your cancer doctor if there are things you do not want to talk about yet. Sometimes, it may be hard to accept that you have cancer. This can stop you making decisions about treatment. If this happens, it is very important to get help from your healthcare team.
• Fear – You may be anxious or frightened about whether treatments will work and what will happen in the future. This can be one of the hardest things to cope with. It can help to try and focus on things you can control. You may want to find out more about the cancer, your treatment options and how to manage any side effects. It can also help to talk about your feelings. Try to keep doing the things that are important to you and that you enjoy.
• Feeling alone – You may feel alone or isolated. This could be because you do not think you have support. Family and friends may live far away, be busy or feel uncomfortable talking about the cancer.
• Guilt and blame – You may feel guilty or blame yourself for the cancer. You may want to find reasons for why this has happened to you. Most of the time it is important to know exactly what causes cancer. Overtime, a combination of different risk factors may cause a cancer. Doctors do not fully understand all these factors yet.

Common fears

• Relationships, sex and intimacy
• Fears for the future
• Disruption to life, and plans
• Worries about side effects
• The financial costs
• Body changes

Ideas to help you cope

• Expressing emotion – cry, angry walks.
• ‘Downloading’ thoughts: write it / tell it.
• Well balanced diet self kindness (not oughts and shoulds) – do things that fulfil you
• Distraction / mindfulness – We have a selection of mindfulness books available to our patients. Please speak to your Cancer Support Worker.
• Problems solve: what can I do now? Who can I ask? What would I tell a friend? Breaking down big worries into small chunks.
• Keep socialising
• Practice ways of relaxing
• Take regular physical activity you enjoy
• Living with uncertainty and cancer

Where to seek help

Contact one of our Cancer Support Workers who can advise and signpost to buddy services, talking therapy providers or offer you assessment for referral to the Macmillan Psychology Therapy Team.

Online resources

These online resources relating to the emotional effects of cancer from Macmillan and our partners, may help you manage your emotions.

• Big Health | Macmillan Cancer Support – Improving the quality of life for those affected by cancer in the UK with free, instant mental health support.
• How cancer may affect you emotionally | Macmillan Cancer Support It is common to have many different emotions when you have cancer. There is no right or wrong way to feel.
• Emotional effects of caring for someone with cancer | Macmillan Cancer Support It is important to remember that you may experience different emotions as a carer. These are normal. Talking to others can help you cope with your feelings. It is common to have many different emotions when you have cancer. There is no right or wrong way to feel.
• How cancer may affect you emotionally | Macmillan Cancer Support If you are having trouble sleeping, there are things that may help improve your sleep.
• Trouble sleeping (insomnia) and cancer: tips and support | Macmillan Cancer Support